Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
