There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
