The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
