is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize