So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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