come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
