I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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