How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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