I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
