THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Randomize
