This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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