It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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