3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He better not be in your backpack
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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