I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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