I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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