There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
