before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at templeย
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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