They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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