Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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