I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
