that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
