i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
