ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
