Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Buhtt sex?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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