We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
