I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
