I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
