On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
