I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
