I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
