After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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