Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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