Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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