If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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