I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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