I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
