Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
