Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
