It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
