He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
