They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
