He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
