It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
They have beer where we have blood.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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