I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
