my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
