Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize