i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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