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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.

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• (831): View more from California

  I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape

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• (707): View more from California

  I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?

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