her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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