He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
