all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
