I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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