seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
