thus making me awesome and them whores
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize