just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
send nudes
from the living room?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
