you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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