Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
