There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think people are normalizing furries
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
