He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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