You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
