So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
