Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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