She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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