This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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