Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
