he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
