I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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