Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
