i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
