so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
